The one thing people never talk about, is the pressure associated with managing a Type 1 Diabetic child. Yes this disease is manageable, yes, there are many devices that allow for better management of a relentless disease, but the underlying responsibility and pressure are forgotten in the fold.
As the parent to a Type 1 Diabetic child, my son’s existence relies on my ability to care for him. Working feverishly to maintain stable blood sugars can feel like a futile effort most days. Not letting a bad day with Diabetes define you, can be even harder.
There have been many nights that I sit and reflect on the day and feel the guilt of things I should have done differently. After all, we have been working at managing this beast called Type 1 Diabetes for over three years now, I should be a pro by now. What I don’t account for is human error, it is so difficult to function at one hundred percent, when working on only a few hours of interrupted sleep.
Type 1 Diabetes robs you of so much, it robs you of joy some days, robs you of sleep, robs you of peace, and piles immense pressure onto an already weakened spirit. Some days it feels like it is crushing you. Yet through the ashes, beneath all this disease robs, it pushes you to view life through a different lens.
Every day, every moment is a gift. We fight every moment of everyday for survival, and for normalcy. Yet, the pressure is still there. When a severe low, or massive high rear their ugly heads, the pressure to stabilize my son can be suffocating.
When I feel completely under attack from the pressure that managing Type 1 ensues, I find that changing the scenery can help. Once I get Carter stabilized I will take the kids out of the house, take them to the park. Getting out in the fresh air, and changing our view has a forgiving effect that helps me feel human again. It can be easy, sitting in the house, feverishly monitoring blood sugars, carb intakes, insulin on board, to forget there is more than survival, there is life to live.
Some days, I have to be forced. Forced to look at the bright side, forced to get out of the house, forced to find the silver lining. These are the days when the pressure can seem like it is too much, where I would pay for a break, but it’s on these days, when once we have found the joy, it is so much more meaningful, because we have had to fight for it.