I hate today, actually a better statement would be, so far, I hate this year. When it comes to the management we have endured pertaining to Type 1 Diabetes, 2015 hasn’t been handed to us on a silver platter.
A lot of this is to be expected when you have a young child with Type 1, especially as they go through growth spurts and the like. Teething, growing, illness, these are all things that affect the way Type 1 Diabetes behaves on any given day, at any given hour.
Today, we have been fighting low blood sugars. I’ve always said that battling high blood sugar numbers is aggravating, and battling low numbers is terrifying. When Carter’s blood sugar is low, a different kind of care is required. More vigilance, more supervision, and this is required whether it is daytime or nighttime. More so if it is in the middle of the night.
Tonight it seems no matter what I do, I can’t get his blood sugar to rise. Luckily he is hovering in the 80 range, which for a person without Type 1 Diabetes is a perfect resting blood sugar. Tonight however, I’ve fed Carter a peanut butter teaspoon, 8 oz. of milk, and half a juice box and he is 88. This means, without the carb loading I’ve done with him this evening, he would most likely be reading at a blood sugar of 50.
Now he is full of liquid and food, and I have to check his blood every hour, making sure that he doesn’t dip too low and become hypoglycemic. This turn, is deadly, especially in the quiet of the night. So I will set my alarm for every hour and monitor my son, making sure he makes it through the night.
I think this is one of the biggest misunderstood measures that is rarely discussed outside of the diabetic community; beyond the frustration, beyond the exhaustion, we are responsible every second of everyday to keep our child alive. Failure isn’t an option, and discovering that with each minute, the stakes change.
Truth be told, it is so difficult to bring understanding to those who don’t live this life day in and day out. Hearing the horrific, difficult issues we as Type 1 Diabetic parents face daily, doesn’t resonate with the proper mind numbing fear that we experience throughout our days.
The feelings of helplessness, fear, anguish, anger, determination, pride, joy, all overlap and it’s hard to realize which feeling you are in from one minute to the next.
But the one feeling that is never missed, is once you are out of the woods, and you get the blood sugar reading you have been working so hard for, there is an overwhelming feeling that washes over you. It is welcome and sought after continually, and is known as relief.