It’s easy to talk about the luck of manageability of Type 1 Diabetes when things are going well. It’s harder to see the end of the tunnel when you have had a day filled with disappointment because of Type 1 Diabetes.
Today we had Carter’s check up with his Endocrinologist. His A1c was up to 8.6 from 7.8 three months ago. I have to admit I felt defeated and like I had failed. Carter’s doctor wasn’t concerned and even expected that he would be higher due to his growth and the fact that Carter has been battling illness for the past month.
Though we only slightly adjusted Carter’s insulin to carbohydrate ratios, I found throughout the rest of the appointment I was struggling with the feelings of disappointment.
I know there are peaks ad valleys when it comes to Type 1 Diabetes management, and knowing what illness and growth, as well as a bevy of other factors do to someone with Type 1 Diabetes, getting news you weren’t wanting can make you feel deflated. Pulling internal self together and reminding myself that Carter’s level of care he receives from me and his Dad hasn’t changed, assisted me with digesting the news.
There are times while traveling this journey that is being the parent of a diabetic where defeat becomes a regular feeling. Victories can get clouded, shrouded in the perceived failures, and the misconceptions that managing this disease carries.
Recognizing that this too shall pass and that without these set backs we wouldn’t know what needed to change can be difficult when you are in the midst of the disappointment.
Allowing the reassurance, and remembering that a A1c result that wasn’t what wad expected doesn’t mean that you are a failure, it means that things yet again have changed when it comes to Type 1 Diabetes. The one thing that is consistent with Type 1 Diabetes care and management, is inconsistency.
Realizing that because of those inconsistencies, numbers are often harder to manage and maintain, as well as test results may reflect an arena that is contradictory to what you have worked so hard to get away from, is part of what makes this disease so frustrating in one moment, when in the next moment beating the algorithm of Diabetes can feel like such an accomplishment.
The best advice I can give, is to not view a negative report as a personal failure. Use it as a learning tool, and allow it to be a bigger view into your child’s make up. No two people are a like, therefore management of Type 1 Diabetes varies from patient to patient.
Stumble and fall, but always get up and fight back.