One Year Post Diagnosis

Someone I loveToday’s the day, November 20, 2014, exactly one year after Carter was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes.  For a full year, I never really knew how I would feel today.

This time last year, I wished I was here, a year into things, I naively thought things would somehow be easier.  In some ways they are, but in others everything is still the same……difficult.

My biggest fear, this time last year, was the shots.  I am so grateful to have adjusted to that.  Dosing out insulin doesn’t terrify me anymore, it certainly has become second nature.  But the frustration associated with Type 1 Diabetes is still there and I believe will be forever.  Learning how to expect the hassle and not get flustered when it arrives is the key.

As a mother, being prepared for anything was a characteristic I had to learn when my first-born arrived.  Being prepared for everything when you have a child with Type 1 Diabetes is a whole different thing entirely.  Even with everything done the same way each and every hour of every day, we always live in the “what if.”

However, as  I reflect today, that biggest theme is gratitude.  I watch my son today, running and jumping, laughing, and full of life and realize that last year, as I sit sobbing in a PICU room, that this is what I longed for.  I longed for the day when Type 1 Diabetes management became part of our day, and we have arrived there.

Self doubt has left me alone for a while now, and I am more confident in my ability to care for my son, I watch my son taking more and more ownership of his care and where my heart hurts sometimes because of that,  I am comforted by his acceptance and knowledge of how important proper management is.

I sit here, exactly one year after my world caved in, and instead of living in the moment I am able to look to the future.  What I thought would break us, has pushed us closer together, highlighted what gratitude really means, and proven that anything you strive for can be accomplished.

So it is with a happy heart that I say happy one year anniversary to my son, it’s happy because we have made it through the roughest year of our lives and have come out on top.  My son, who is the bravest, most tenacious, happiest boy I know.  I am so proud to call him my son, and am so lucky to have my daughter who helps me care for her brother, and comforts me when she sees on certain days it becoming too cumbersome.

Type 1 Diabetes is an invasion, but with hope and love, and patience, the learning curve is obtained, and life carries on.

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