It has been one of those difficult days today, not particularly from Diabetes, that played a small part in it, but because Carter decided last night he didn’t want to sleep at all. This has then been exacerbated today by the fact that he doesn’t want to nap either. Personally I wouldn’t mind laying down for even just 20 minutes to give my brain a moment to try and catch it’s breath.
I believe this is one of the hardest things about diabetes management, having to constantly calculate even when exhausted. Carter woke up last night and needed to be corrected so I had to calculate in the middle of the night his insulin ratio. I find it difficult some days to allow myself to be human. It is hardest when tough days come for weeks at a time. Not sleeping coupled with horrible numbers, followed by illness, dripping with ketones. In the midst of these trials I constantly remind myself this too shall pass! Things are never constant, especially when dealing with diabetes. The lack of consistency is the bane of my existence, and sometimes what saves me.
Reminding myself that I have a whole new fresh twenty-four hour period tomorrow helps me. But when I am stuck in a crummy afternoon, or a rough morning, removing me and the kids from the situation sometimes is all we need to get everyone’s attitude in check. I will talk the kids on a walk, or we will jump in the car to go to the grocery store. A change of scenery makes all the difference, especially when we’ve been stuck inside due to my exhaustion.
Diabetes is like a newborn child, there are a lot of hard days, but knowing that with age things get better, means the difference between sanity and insanity. We are only 5 months into Carter’s diabetes and have learned so much, but have much more to learn. Remembering that these moments will pass and positive easier days are right around the corner, gets me through and puts a smile back on my face.