Ever Changing Tides


This week has been exceptionally frustrating.  Just when it felt like we were making huge strides, things change.  It reminds me of the ocean, completely unpredictable, able to deliver calm beautiful days or serve tragedy with a power none have ever seen.  I am assuming we are in the midst of a growth spurt, I have struggled to adjust Carter’s insulin needs and it’s either too much or not enough.  I’ve checked Carter twice this week for bedtime, which was 3 hours after he’d eaten his dinner and his blood sugar was over 450.  So I dosed him correction insulin and would check him an hour and a half later and he would be 52.  With the changes that have been made this week there have also been 2:30 AM checks.  Yesterday at 9:30, blood check number 8 of the day, Carter had enough.  It happened that his reading at 9:30PM was 52 so I needed to correct him with carbs.  He was so tired of being messed with, that it became a huge ordeal that required an extra 30 minutes of comfort in order to get him to ingest the carbs to bring him into the normal level.  This week comes on the heels of a tragedy that happened within the Type 1 Diabetes community, when there is loss of life because of diabetes, it’s a blow that carries with it devastating feelings and emotions.  It prompted me to be extra steadfast with Carter’s care, checking his blood and checking again.  I would check on him countless times through the night, the time hypoglycemia grips it’s tightest.  After diagnosis, there are many reminders that every day is a gift, I am confident that we will adjust his insulin and find what works once we are out of his growth spurt, yet being in the midst is more exhausting than the typical exhaustion I have come to find comfort in.  Through it all, my son shows me how to find joy, and how to grow.  Though he is frustrated when he is woken up from sleep for checks, he is a champ through the day with the management.  We are so blessed to have a great endocrinology team behind us, helping us through the storms.  My prayers are more frequent, not only for my baby, but for the diabetic community as a whole.  A lot of our day is filled with trial and error, or what we know to be true to have changed, searching for more patience has become a way of life for me, and realizing that this too shall pass encourages me to push on.  A cure, would be most welcome, and appreciated.

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