How To Bond Together

Lately, I have had people ask me about the closeness they see my family has.  Many questions in regard to how, with such a hard life changing diagnosis we were able to persevere.  I remember in the first couple of weeks, understanding how a tragedy within a family could tear it apart.  The stress level has grown exponentially, and the tolerance for BS is at an all time low.  I will admit it’s a very difficult balance at first, I compare getting a diagnosis of this magnitude, to coming home from the hospital with a newborn.  Type 1 Diabetes was my newborn, learning how to respond to all of diabetes cues and how to do it properly, being up all night with diabetes, learning the way to feed diabetes, it’s been a difficult process.  In some ways, it seems it would have been easier to release myself from everyone but my children and focus solely on Carter and his diagnosis.  That would have made my life easier for about the first 3 months of his diagnosis, but after that, when I finally had a handle on everything, the havoc that would have had on my family would have been to much.  I remembered the vows I made, and through thick and thin we vowed to work through everything.  We learned quickly, to grieve together and process this whole situation together as a family.  We worked together on everything, Carter’s care, his appointments, the positive moments, through that we have successfully made it through this tragedy in our lives.    That being said, I did eliminate people in my life that were not positive forces for me or my children, and since I have done that things have been easier.  When you have a tragedy enter your life and effect your small child, people jump in and when they think they are helping are really just being judgmental and intrusive.  In an effort to strengthen my family (my husband, and my children) I cut out relationships that only added stress to my life and have been better for it.  It made my bond with my husband and children better, and has afforded me the energy I need to get through each day battling diabetes.  I evaluated what in my life was bringing me stress, and moved away from those people or activities and now focus on finding the positive with my husband and children as we navigate through this territory that on some days is a completely different beast.  Nothing is ever the same, everything is ever-changing.  I have found that the new friends I have made through the diabetic community are those I have become closest too through these first 5 months of my son’s diagnosis, as they understand exactly what I am going through.  I also cherish those friendships I have when people listen to what I am going through and offer me a hug instead of the latest “cure” they have googled.  The best advice I can give to someone struggling is to search and only surround yourself with positive people who build you up, and eliminate the stress in your life, but always remember that with your spouse though they may grieve differently than you, you really are in this together.  Making the choice to pull together through this change has been the best thing for me, my husband, and our children.  We are happier today then we were this time last year, and are grateful that we were able to find the best aspects of this for our family and push through the frustration and pain.  The realization that diabetes was the enemy, not each other has been our greatest accomplishment.

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