Blood Back Draft

Yesterday it happened for the first time in four months, we experienced a blood back draft when dosing Carter for dinner. At first it freaked me out, when I pulled the needle out there was blood oozing out that wouldn’t stop. Dark, thick, and for a split second, non-stop. Luckily my husband remembered the capillary conversation we apparently had at the hospital during our Type 1 Diabetes crash course. That had me thinking about how magnificent our brains truly are. To be essentially bludgeoned by the news that our son had Type 1 Diabetes and would be insulin dependent, we now had to learn information that would keep our son alive. Through the muddy waters, ladened with doubt, disbelief, and fear we had to trek, and take the most important test of our lives.  I am actually surprised I remember all that I do from our training, however, thankfully Greg remembered the capillary discussion and reminded me as I sat holding the towel over the tiny bleeding hole on our son’s leg.  After a few seconds the blood stopped and it was evident that I had accidentally broken a capillary in his leg as I was administering his insulin shot for dinner.  In speaking with other T1 parents, some had never heard of this, and were never made aware that this could happen.  I was grateful that my husband reminded me, as in the midst I was panicked thinking, how could I have nicked his blood vessel with a 6mm needle?  My mind started racing, and I must have muttered something to which my husband responded about the capillary heads up.  The night ended fine, Carter ate dinner and he has no “wound” on his leg, almost no evidence that there was extra trauma to his leg other than the insulin injection.  It’s amazing how some days there are very clear pieces of our week of diagnosis, yet other times my mind is blank.  Some days I feel like I have PTSD when it comes to diabetes, other days I’m not bothered by our routine.  There will be times when sitting in my house a smell will waft through the house that takes me right back into the ICU, and it shakes me to the core.  Trauma is a funny thing, and the emotional connection to it will rear its head at the most inopportune times.  I am thankful it was only a small capillary burst and not a blood vessel issue.  My goal, as is any parents goal when caring for their type 1 child is to stay as far away from the hospital as possible.  We were fortunate to have only had a small reminder last night how intrusive this whole regime really is.  Last night was one of those nights where I was happy to have our diabetes binder handy, and breathed a sigh of relief as we encountered yet another new test when it comes to diabetes.

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