The notion of being one up on Diabetes sounds like a great plan, but the reality is that most times you have to condition yourself on how to avoid feeling defeated by diabetes. More often than not, lately, I have felt as though I can hardly keep up with the demands of Diabetes and being the primary care taker for both my children is exhausting enough, throw in Diabetes and at the end of the day I feel like I’ve been hit by a Mack Truck! Lately, on the days when my husband is off I have forced myself, though tired, to go out on a run. It’s really been rejuvenating to put myself first. I think, as the care taker especially we forget we are human. We take the task of taking care of the diabetic very seriously and put everyone’s needs before our own. Being able to claim 30 minutes twice a week for myself has helped me to release some of the stress and breathe a little. The struggle to stay positive comes all day long, and with blood sugar uncertainties, and insulin measurements, along with the reality of what high and low blood sugars do long-term, the pressure mounts with each passing minute. Then we get to the doctors calls when we call in Carter’s numbers, and the visits where his A1C is checked. I must admit I have never been more apprehensive to hear the results of a test more than the A1C. It truly is a reflection of how well me, as the care taker of my 20 month old, has done over the past 3 months. If the A1C number hasn’t gone down to the level that I expected, it’s hard not to be hard on myself and put my ability to properly care for my son into question. The responsibility of taking care of a diabetic child is immense some days, it can feel like I am walking on thin ice all the time. Everything can be going fine one minute and then I am falling through and plunging into frigid waters, trying to survive in that moment as Carter’s blood sugar has plummeted. I have resigned to the fact that the real work comes when I am having a day where Diabetes is not cooperating at all. Keeping my spirits high and not allowing frustration to consume me is one of the hardest things I have had to strive to accomplish. Some days I am more successful than others, again, proving only that I am human. I have to continually remind myself that I am doing the best I can and am learning as I go. Perfection is unattainable, I have to be able to work toward thinking two steps ahead of the disease and strive to be the best I can be every minute of everyday, yet allow myself the moments of failure for failures are the biggest teachers we have in life. Everyday has new challenges, new moments for glory, and provides a million seconds for me to prove, even through the struggle how much I adore my children. Diabetes or not, navigating through parenthood is a freight train that at times, feels as though it is careening out of control. So these days, I find when it comes to parenting, and diabetes especially, being able to live minute by minute and forgive myself my short comings is the most freeing solution I have found.