Elimination Frustration

Carter - August 2013
Carter – August 2013

There is a definite point, after receiving a diagnosis such as Juvenile Diabetes when what I call elimination frustration should take effect.  There are a lot of well-meaning people out there, who when they are not engrossed in the tragedy become either know it all’s or a thorn in your side wanting to know every detail of everyday, and when you share, suffer from foot in mouth disease.  I have struggled in these past couple of months, new into my son’s diagnosis with getting frustrated and stressed yet feeling a sense of duty to others who weren’t my children.  Today I had an epiphany, the only ones who truly matter are here with me under the roof of my home.  I decided today I was going to start eliminating the frustrations that were in my life and was going to take the control of my life back, in an effort to be the best mother I can be for my children.  Just like having a newborn, having a newly diagnosed child can be daunting and frustrating enough, we need to disconnect from those who do everything in their power to tear you down, or try to show you what you are doing wrong.  When people who don’t live this everyday try to weigh in on my day-to-day life these days I just walk away.  All I know is that these days, I am stretched pretty thin and my tolerance for distraction, or lack of sensitivity is gone.  My son’s needs come before anything and everything else.  I am essentially in the pursuit of happiness, walking this jagged road that hurls frustration at me multiple times throughout the day.  I have decided that I will surround myself with people who build me up, encourage me, enjoy me and my family, shots and all, and who do what they can to support me no matter what I am struggling with.  Passive aggression has no place in my life or my home, I want to be around people who bring out the best in me, not stress me out by pushing me to keep my mouth shut through their irresponsible behaviors.  Accountability shouldn’t be mine to enforce, my children and their needs come first and to do that I need to be the least stressed and frustrated I can be.  For it is a guarantee that the beast that is Diabetes will do everything in its power to try to make me lose my footing all day, everyday.  I need to be at the top of my game, and that requires a cheering section, not a peanut gallery.  I encourage those who are worried about hurting feelings, to put yourself first for once, and realize that your own serenity counts.  I adjusted things in my life today and am feeling exuberant.  Duty and expectation are words only  my children can use when it pertains to me.  Tonight I am feeling at the top of my game, and less judged or under a microscope, which makes me soar!

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