Ugh, it’s been one of those days, and tonight I went through three needles and who knows how many units of insulin when I measured incorrectly when mixing two of them. In order to minimize the number of injections I give Carter, I mix Humalog and Lantus in the evening so that he only has one poke. The problem is, if you go over a tenth, you have to start all over. This happened 3 times to me tonight. I had to squirt the incorrectly measured insulin down the sink, to which made me wonder….why does insulin smell so horrible? What’s in this stuff? It got me thinking about the chemistry behind insulin and then I started thinking about what new technologies are being discovered or looked into as I sit here feeding my kids dinner. I looked into a couple of the newest potentials on the JDRF website (link below) and I am amazed at what research has accomplished thus far. The strides they are making toward a cure gave me hope that I might see one in Carter’s lifetime. I had a reflective moment tonight about how the sight of needles evokes emotion in me that I’ve never felt before. I hate that when my son sees one he winces, preparing himself for the inevitable poke, and for me I think it takes me back to the moment of diagnosis. I daydream, for a moment, about how wonderful it would be if a cure came out before Carter’s 2nd birthday, wouldn’t that be a wonderful gift. All these shots would be a distant memory, and then he could just go back to what he knew for 17 months. This day dreaming is most likely what led to the incorrect measurements, or maybe it was the fact that my son was hungry and saw his plate of food dished up, but had to wait for me to fumble around with the tester, and the testing strip, then write down the number and look at the sliding scale to find out how much to measure etc. So I feel the pressure of his hunger and try to rush, which results in me wasting. I could actually hear my debit card start crying from the depths of my purse, trying to calculate how much our next visit to the endocrinologist was going to be now that we would need to order more needles and insulin. I sat tonight looking through the website, seeing what our future might hold and realized that for now I am Carter’s cure for Type 1 Diabetes, I am what keeps him at his best levels. Me and his dad, painstakingly measure again and again to ensure that he has a wonderful, pain-free day that can be as normal as possible. So I sit and look at this research and feel like Carter must when I am preparing his dinner; though he is anxious to eat right then he needs to be patient while I measure his needs into a needle, just as I must be patient and wait for the research to prove successful before there is an end to the needles and pokes in our home.