Seriously Diabetes?

Carter Ashleigh 11.2013
Ashleigh and Carter, November 7, 2013 – 2 weeks before diagnosis

It’s been a long day…..a day filled with numbers over 200 and hovering in the mid 300’s, which has me wanting to scream out SERIOUSLY DIABETES?! I presume Carter is teething and beginning to cut his two-year molars, this would explain moderately higher numbers, due to all the lovely inflammation. However, first it was the flu 2 weeks ago, and now this. Not to mention that Carter is up 4 times throughout the night mostly from being uncomfortable. The problem is, that at 19 months, he doesn’t just go back to sleep.  Due to us being only a couple of months in, he still wants some milk in the middle of the night.  I have done my best to get him used to the unsweetened Vanilla Almond Milk, but lately he has been on to me.  He is at that precarious age where he gets mad at being controlled in certain aspects, and milk is one of them.  Lately, I spend the night in and out of my room and his, ultimately resulting to sleeping on his floor because it is easier.  When I have these highs through the day, I worry throughout the night that maybe he has spiked again, then I am caught in thought of checking his blood, or letting him be.  The past few nights I’ve been letting him be and giving him some water or the almond milk and he has woken in the morning with good numbers.  Being that he is so young, and the fact that he apparently has a temper, when I poke him to check his blood sugar it’s a huge ordeal to get him back to sleep.  On top of the worry, and the duty all day long, and the fact that I also have a four-year-old, in all honesty, I am exhausted.  My hope is that with some adjusting and once these molars come through, things will even out for a time for Carter and give us a little reprieve.  I feel as though Type 1 Diabetes is my third newborn, with the sleepless nights, the zombie routine throughout the day, and the bizarre eating habits, I pray we find a common ground soon.  I am grateful that with these high numbers there haven’t been any ketones, and there aren’t any other symptoms of DKA, just continual monitoring, and patience are the only things that will get me through the next couple of days I presume.  I take comfort in knowing that this is a phase and will work itself out, but being in the midst of it, I am not too prideful to say that it sucks!  But after the horrific highs and the stress that they bring, in the end I have a wonderful son, who is connected enough that he feels my stress and will give me kisses for no reason.  Even after I have poked him with a finger prick and a shot, this afternoon, he climbed up into my lap and hugged me and kissed me.  I cherish those moments, I always love being reminded that my efforts aren’t being taken for granted, and that no matter how hard my days are, I always have two children who continuously remind me how grateful they are for my presence in their life.  This is what gives me the greatest comfort, and enables me to find the strength to persevere.

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