Needles, Lancets, and Test Strips….Oh My!

Carter dland
Carter at Disneyland, his sister’s 4th birthday party. 2 weeks before diagnosis.

It’s amazing how overwhelmed I was when we were in the PICU with my son, hearing about needles, lancets, and test strips; A1C levels, and insulin.  Two months in and I’m less overwhelmed and shocked at how much I actually know about Type 1 Diabetes.  Some days I feel like I’ve been thrown in the deep end with Sharks circling as I fumble through the day anticipating my sons needs and doing my best to steer him away from a low or a massive high.  These days, his diagnosis being not so long ago, I fondly remember the days of normalcy.  The picture above was taken at our last trip to Disneyland pre-diagnosis, for his sisters fourth birthday in October 2013.  How happy I thought he was, yet how crummy he must have felt.  At times Diabetes feels so unforgiving, and there are days I can’t help but feel like I have failed him in everyway, after all he grew in my womb, what went wrong?  I look at his angel face everyday and know that I would gladly take the place of his pancreas for as long as I need to in order to give him the best life he can have minus any complications.  I work everyday to create a new “normal”, unfortunately the Disneyland trips these days revolve around Carter’s eating and shot schedules.  I am blessed to have a four-year-old daughter who adores her brother and is patient through this transition.  Though needles, lancets, and tests strips are an integral part of our day, I want my son to remember the joy and fun that each day of his life produces; for now, I want all the technicalities surrounding diabetes to fall on my shoulders.  I am better suited to deal with the stress and uncertainties that this disease brings, I just want him to focus on growing up.

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